Saturday, March 04, 2006

You Cannot Date My Son

Posted this story on MySpace (where I rarely post) and decided that young girls who stumble onto this page ought to get the benefit of my motherly wisdom.

Once upon a time there was a guy who broke into homes and stole people's stuff. He also assaulted the English language every time he opened his mouth. He kept a journal on a Big Chief tablet in which he logged every address and item he stole. In big letters on the front, he wrote "Things I Have Stole". The courts had no trouble convicting him and the police had no trouble returning the unsold stolen merchandise confiscated from his garage.


Girls, pay attention. If you think your mother or the mother of the boy you are dating/want to date/used to date will never read your blog, you are in the same category as the "Things I Have Stole" guy.

If you admit to driving drunk, you cannot date my son.

If you are flippant about your virginity, you cannot date my son.

If you admit that you routinely lie to your parents, you cannot date my son.

If you admit to doing drugs, you cannot date my son.

If you swear like a drunken sailor, you cannot date my son.

People are human. None of us are perfect. We are all fallible. These things, I know. But girls, if you don't even make a pretense at being a lady, you cannot date my son! And, because I care about you as a human being (a human being no longer allowed to date my son), when I stumble across your blog, I will point your technologically challenged parents to it. You are free to cry, cuss me, hate me, and slash my tires (for which you will go to jail), but --



deepstructure said...

i don't know how old your son is - but isn't it up to him who he dates?

MaryAn Batchellor said...

Nope. He's sixteen. I am TERRIBLE parent if I let him get in a car with somebody who has admitted to driving drunk.

deepstructure said...

perhaps it's that great texas-california divide, but im very surprised at your position on this.

at sixteen you'd better hope your son has already learned not to get into a car with someone who IS drunk. you can't be there all the time to control what he does (nor should you be).

and if you really believe *you* control what your 16-year old son does, i predict you're in for some rude awakenings in the next few years. many of these decisions are, like it or not, in his hands and if you haven't given him the tools to deal with them he's already in trouble.

MaryAn Batchellor said...

So sorry my take on this has disappointed you. But I am not even slightly broad minded when it comes to raising my kids. I'll bend like wet bamboo when it comes to most things, but not my kids. They walk a narrow line. Period.

I don't think I'm in for any rude awakenings although every parent gets surprises. My son did cause a near riot at school two weeks ago when three different girls asked him to the prom and he told each of them that he wasn't going. It was overrated and not his thing.

A father stopped me in the parking that afternoon, handed me his credit card and said if my son would please take one or both his daughters to the prom, he'd pay for everything. Sheeesh!

I have three sons and my methods have worked so far. I have a 22 year old and the worst trouble he's been in is with water balloons.

The sixteen year old is a sharp kid. His response to my concerns about that girl's blog was "do I really want to date a girl my mom dislikes anyway?"

Easy for him to say. He has three other girls waiting to see which one he'll take to the prom.

Anonymous said...

lol, thats all i have to say, lol. how exacley are u planning on enforcing these criteria?

MaryAn Batchellor said...

Car keys.

mark said...

good for you more should be like that
i have two very good kids 17 and 19 and they know consequences what the consequences of their actions will be for certain behavior-and the rules they have to follow-may be fooled tomorrow but they are fine with that now-good work ethics-good grades and they have earned our trust.

MaryAn Batchellor said...

Thanks Mark. This post is a few years old. My sons are now 25, 20, and 15 and so far, no rude awakenings. No alcohol. No drugs. good decisions. Can't ask for much more than that.

Victoria said...

I like these rules. I am 20 going on 21 and I hate that I have to tell my Boyfriend to look away when another girl comes our way. We both hate that girls are so free with their gifts. To have rules like these just means that you love your son and want the best for him. I hope that I can do the same for my some day children.

Bob said...

I hope your sons are as smart as you say and think they are.All teens do things they shouldn't. Not saying if they do one bad thing on the list they do them all. Just that kids will have their fun,because no matter what kids are kids,and they do what they want. The difference is the dumb ones get caught by parents/police and the smart ones don't.

You should let him date whoever he pleases. Most kids will make the right choice.

Darwin's theory of evolution includes that nature will thin the heard by removing the dumb ones ;) free population control

so let your little bird's fly and see who they are,you don't want to mold them into robots following rules and Victoria and her comment,,,umm if you have to tell your boyfriend to look away when a girl walks by. That is your problem and your insecurity. Its natural to look at people trying to fight that is just stupid and will cause problems.