Thursday, March 02, 2006

Sheep In My Driveway

No, Billy , these are not song lyrics along the lines of your famous "clouds in my coffee". Those are sheep in my driveway. At least, I think they are sheep. They could be really fuzzy dogs or ugly neighbor kids.

Infected with stomach flu, I've been homebound and dehydrated for almost five days now. This stuff is bad. Light is excruciatingly painful to my eyes and crossing my house is like wandering the rocking halls of a cruise ship during a nasty thunderstorm. At this moment, I have vision and am looking at my laptop. However, in a few minutes, my white walls will take on interesting hues of blue, green and magenta, nausea will reign supreme, and I'll go back to sitting in the darkness, wishing those elves would sing something besides Muskrat Love.

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin' and jingin' the jango
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love
La da da da da ...


Light bad. Dark good.

A few minutes ago, I went to the kitchen for more Gatorade. After dodging the pillar in my entryway (which does the hula if I turn my head left and right real fast), I made it to the window where I swatted the sunlit daggers from my eyes and watched two sheep eat my prematurely blooming daffodils, wander out around my barn, and visit my yard dog. Then it occurred to me that the sheep were suspiciously NOT interesting hues of blue or green or magenta and I might not be hallucinating.

So, I took a picture.

That's my yard. Those are my crepe myrtles. That's the shadow of my sister's car in the driveway, a sister who nodded compassionately and heated my chicken noodle soup but wouldn't look out the window and affirm that there were two sheep in my driveway. Once I fully recover, it will be interesting to see if those are actually sheep in the picture -- or if there is even a picture.

My five minutes of light are up.
Time to go back into darkness.
Oh, look. Elves.

And now he's ticklin' her fancy
Rubbin' her toes
Muzzle to muzzle now anything goes
As they wriggle,
And Sue starts to giggle

2 comments:

mernitman said...

I had some dreams
They were sheep in my driveway
Sheep in my driveway, and...
You're so ill
You prob'ly think that muskrat's a yard dog
You're so-oh ill... etc.

Feel better! (Though I must admit, you're very funny when you're sick)

MaryAn Batchellor said...

Yeah, I'm a funny gal until you put a pen in my hand. Then I'm all business. Press training. AND, the reason I don't write rom com.