Yup. That's it. Only 59 days until the the Nicholl Fellowship deadline. If I submit my screenplay early, what are the chances I'll get fresh eyes not yet blurred by their portion of the six thousand or so submissions? HA! Too bad for me. The application isn't online yet and Greg Beal turned down the Dickie's Barbeque bribe I offered at the Austin Film Festival when I followed him into the men's room.
Okay, Greg may not actually know it was a bribe and he may not actually know it was from me. Toilets flushing, crashing towel dispenser and some fool hollering 'not my dickie' -- it's all a blur. What exactly is wrong with clipping a twenty dollar bill to my screenplay and sliding it under an occupied stall? Besides, if the stalls were out of paper (and I happen to know they were because I took all the paper), those guys weren't going anywhere anyway -- unless they used my screenplay but ouch, the paper cuts.
For the record, is it really illegal to take somebody's picture at the urinal?
Anyway, I still have ample opportunity to proof, second guess, and spellcheck each and every word of each and every page over and over again until I drop a priority mail envelope into the box and then suffer the inevitable followup thoughts --
(1) Oh my gosh! Did I mail an early draft by mistake?
(2) Where are those photos I left by the outgoing mail?
(3) Please tell me my pap report is still on the kitchen counter.
Yeah, you do it too. You know you do.