Cue the Whimsy

I'm not sure what enchants me more; the scene in Coraline where stop gap animated characters perform nearly nude or the trapeze sequence that follows. Any place I pause the film, I'm struck by the complexity of setting up the shot.

Another Fav Film Shot

It's a march to the scaffold, yes, but this shot from What's Eating Gilbert Grape also reveals so much about the story. There's the adult who's been a child and the child who has been the adult, the piano used as a toy box and the art on the wall revealing there is yet another adult child in the house, the dust on the floor, the neglect on the walls, the light fixture that probably once illuminated a beautiful home. It just makes this shot so poignant for me. It's a beautiful thing that speaks volumes. And it lasts only a couple of seconds.

Favorite Movie Shots

This one scene in Public Enemies gives me chills. The music, the color, the framing, the coats blowing in the breeze, the not so speedy get-away because the police don't have cars fast enough to catch them anyway. I love this scene. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing! And it only lasts THREE SECONDS.

Assumptions without Grounds

Got an email the other day from somebody who decided that since I have not been blogging, I must not be writing anymore. One variable to draw a conclusion? Not good in life, math, or even video games.

It's funny how people read a blog and think they know the author. I liken it to a person who reads a book or watches a film and decides the voice behind the pen or the camera is a soul mate. That's stalker mentality.

A blog may give clues to a person's insight but, if I am indeed a writer, I could be a 90 year old man in a nursing home or a 25 year old girl finishing college. On a blog, the choice is mine.

One way or another, this Mary Anita Batchellor character is my creation. Either figuratively or literally, I am responsible for who she is and what she becomes. While "Mary A Batchellor" may sound like no brainer relationship advice, it also happens to be my name and I am still responsible for what kind of character she is. And, except for a handful of people who read this blog, you don't know me. I am a writer so you know only what I want you to know.

All of this leads up to the question about writing. Of course, I'm writing. I'm still breathing, aren't I? Got my Nicholl application in but haven't had a lot of time to blog. I've been busy traveling in time and space as I alternate between my story worlds and my real one.

Ran across this today. Exhibit A. Thank you, Craig.

Best Pre-Battle Speech Ever

I could talk about the motivational techniques, rhythm of the scene, character exposition and reverse psychology going on here but it just doesn't matter. Great scene. Period.

Mighty Pen - Part 2

Some days, I shudder at the lack of integrity I witness in people but most days, I think that I simply expect way too much. Today is not one of those days. Expecting new, or at least clean, 3D glasses, after forking over a fortune in tickets, is not unreasonable. Expecting the guy handing me the glasses to admit they had not been washed or sanitized instead of insisting I was looking at soap residue when I could clearly see the fingerprints and heaven only knows what else that was. Soda? Snot? Slobber?

Thank you, AMC, for treating me like a paranoid germaphobe.

Creative Screenwriting Needs YOU!

Let me preface this by saying that Creative Screenwriting Magazine does not want or need your hard luck or struggling writer story, your "peed next to Clooney in the can" story, or your amateur advice. However, they ARE looking for contributors. Here's what they say:

THE ''WHAT WE NEED NOW" LIST

We continue to receive a lot of "interview with a writer" and "Q&A with a producer" proposals. We're currently overstocked with ideas in those two areas. Here is...

What We Need Most And Now-- See Below For Details:

#1 A regular (possibly weekly) reporter/blogger to cover new feature script sales, hot scripts, and script subjects being sought.

#2 A regular (possibly weekly) reporter/blogger to cover new scriptwriting opportunities in TV: new shows just sold, when to seek writing work where, and script subjects being sought.

#3. For our May-June issue: Articles on screenwriting contests. An overview of the major contests, sidebars listing contests and their deadlines and contact information, success stories arising from contests (we have several ourselves from our own contests).

For our July-August issue: articles on screenwriting education, the film schools, scriptwriting schools, and other articles on the value of formal screenwriting education.

Needed soon For an upcoming issue: articles covering all the other (non-contest, non-school) resources for screenwriters: software, web sites, services, online script services of all kinds, great web sites for writers.

A new regular bimonthly column on craft, by an expert.

More "Know Your Show" articles and updates.

Reporting On/Analyzing The Niche Scriptwriting Markets

New resources: brief descriptive reports (reports, not book reviews) on new books, software, and other resources.
Your best chances of writing for us lie with the subjects above. Please see the "What We Do Not Want" list before pitching your favorite idea. Also, be aware of our deadlines.

Read all the info here. And, by "all the info" I mean read all the info. Then go here to pitch your article. Don't submit your ideas to them by mail, by email, or by contacting one the editors directly. They only accept via their pitch form.

Bastard Words

The only bastard word I've found in the dictionary -- a word the dictionary defines and then says NOT to use because it's not legitimate -- is "irregardless". There must be more. "Ain't", maybe? No matter. Sooner or later, we will cave. We will eventually accept "irregardless" and its gross violation of grammar the way we have accepted split infinitives and words like "dang" which is a legitimate interjection, adjective, and noun, and "uh-oh", which is listed in the dictionaries --yes OUR dictionaries -- as an official interjection.

Go figure.

"Irregardless" is a double negative. It is redundant. Actually, saying that a double negative is redundant is also redundant. The "ir" cancels out "regardless" so a literal definition would be "not regardless" which would make its definition "worthy of regard". Or, the "less" cancels out "irregard" which would mean "without irregard" and since "irregard" can't stand alone, we're left with the "less" cancelling out the "ir" which would mean "without lack of regard" which again, means "with regard" so the whole word is a big fat mess.

Yet, "irregardless" is used as a synonym for "regardless" which, of course, is unacceptable to educated people. But the word "unacceptable" is acceptable because the "un" does not cancel out the "able".

Well, "redouble" is redundant and I don't hear people wailing about its crime against the English language. Is it because "redouble" doesn't offend itself with both prefix and a suffix? "Redouble" only offends the root word with its prefix. But if we "re" and "double", we are doubling twice which makes its literal meaning what? Quadruple?

Let's face it. In speech, there are no backspaces. But in writing? No excuses. And yeah, I could end this with some not-so-cutesy attempt at irony like "let's redouble our efforts irregardless of how many times we've proofed" but I've already done the irony thing with my split infininitive so no. We're writers. Come on.

How Many Bests is Best?

So the last time there were ten best picture nominees was 1943? In the 30's and early 40's, it was common to have a long list of nominated contenders but since the winner will still be the winner regardless how long the list, why, after six decades, are there ten nominees again? Could it be that the Academy is sick of hearing how this film or that one was "snubbed" (gawd, I hate that word) when it was actually just further down the list? Whatever. I'm just amused that in this "Hangover", "Role Models" and "Superbad" generation, two contenders for Best Picture begin with the word "up" --- and "yours" isn't part of either title.

Former Best Picture Winners

2008 - Slumdog Millionaire
2007 - No Country for Old Men
2006 - The Departed
2005 - Crash
2004 - Million Dollar Baby
2003 - Lord of the Rings, Return of the King
2002 - Chicago
2001 - A Beautiful Mind
2000 - Gladiator
1999 - American Beauty
1998 - Shakespeare in Love
1997 - Titanic
1996 - The English Patient
1995 - Braveheart
1994 - Forrest Gump
1993 - Schindler's List
1992 - Unforgiven
1991 - The Silence of the Lambs
1990 - Dances With Wolves
1989 - Driving Miss Daisy
1988 - Rain Man
1987 - The Last Emporer
1986 - Platoon
1985 - Out of Africa
1984 - Amadeus
1983 - Terms of Endearment
1982 - Gandhi
1981 - Chariots of Fire
1980 - Ordinary People
1979 - Kramer vs. Kramer
1978 - The Deer Hunter
1977 - Annie Hall
1976 - Rocky
1975 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
1974 - The Godfather Part 2
1973 - The Sting
1972 - The Godfather
1971 - The French Connection
1970 - Patton

How Does This Happen?

For those of you who read a ton of screenplays from wannabes ...

How is it that many screenplays sound like a commentary from somebody watching their first game? Nothing tells me the writer even understands the depths of what his own characters are experiencing. The story feels forced and out of touch with itself.

"A guy in a red shirt with the number 5 is throwing the ball to his left. Nobody there. A tall guy in a striped shirt throws a yellow square of fabric onto the grass near where the ball hit the ground."

It's not just amateurish flat writing. It's something more.

Since nobody knows the story better than the writer and nobody knows the characters' fractured worlds of pain and wonder better than the writer, this Dick and Jane casual observer writing is an enigma to me. It's easy to spot but I don't understand how it happens or how to recommend a fix. "You suck at writing" seems like cruel over-simplification.

Does it boil down to "anyone can write but not everyone can tell a story"? I can't come up with an academic explanation.

Thoughts?

My Annual Bingo Rant

To me, "bingo" is the single most irritating cop-out piece of dialogue used in film. Ever. I gripe about "bingo" at least once a year and every year, hope springs eternal and I am confident that THIS is the year the whole filmmaking universe will come over to my side and "bingo" will sit quietly on a shelf somewhere (bound and gagged) waiting for a scene in a VFW with a herd of people stamping cards and eyeing the prize table of Slap Chops and Chia pets.

Doesn't happen.

Most recently, Avatar and Sherlock Holmes jerked me out of the film and slapped me around with "bingo". There I was, absorbed in the film when BAM! It's like somebody just kicked my chair or threw a crying baby in my lap.

I realize that actors frequently ad-lib, directors throw things in that writers didn't sanction, and that writers are often under the gun and scrambling with an edit so yeah, "bingo" will happen now and then. But fifteen or twenty times a year? I'm not talking Lifetime movies and re-runs of Reba either. These are big money new releases!

I find it amusing that I have some "favorite" writers whose films never seem to use the word "bingo". That tells me we have the power! We have the technology!

Maybe I'll spend the new year pleading for releases to compile a short film of nothing but clips of characters saying "bingo". I could even use voice alteration software to raise and lower the pitches so that the whole film is to the tune of "There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-o. B.I.N.G.O....."

Yeah. That would get my point across.

Except, I don't think it would be a very short film.

With Apologies to The Bangles

(sing to tune of Walk Like an Egyptian)

All the old screenplays in my room,
They gather dust, reek of gloom and doom,
Each a rotting corpse (oh whey oh)
Write something new, leave those in their tomb.

Macchiato flows by the mile
The waitress stops, speaks but doesn't smile
Gathers up my trash (oh whey oh)
"You leaving soon? Hate your writing style."

Writer types overlook her gripes, say
"Go away-oh, my cafe'-oh
and I like to write fiction."

Clacking on my keys through the day
The waitress comes, says it's time to pay
Showed her my receipts (oh whey oh)
She said "too bad, please leave anyway."

Underneath the chair, dropped a note
Next thing I know, knife against my throat
Forgot to take her meds (oh whey oh)
She went to jail, I proofed what I wrote.

All the cops in the coffee shop say
"Take her away-oh, don't delay-oh,
She's got an affliction."

Quid Pro Quo Christmas

It's no secret in my circle of friends that I loathe the chaos of Christmas. It is such a selfish season of excess that I find it repugnant. Buy for me and I'll buy for you. Mail me a card and I'll mail you one. Ugh. It's quid pro quo at its worst.

I truly do believe Christmas is the time of giving. I just don't believe it's all about stuff!

Here's my challenge to you. Kick the quid pro quo habit. Don't just think about it. Do it.

Adopt a kid from an angel tree or take a few cases of veggies to the nearest food bank. Clean out your closet and call a charity truck or donate toys to the children's hospital. Buy a few new movies for the women's shelter or just write a check to a cause near and dear to your heart --or in the true spirit of kicking the quid pro quo Christmas habit, send a check to a cause you've never supported but know is worthy.

As for my family, we do several things but especially looking forward to Thanksgiving when we are decorating at a senior apartment complex and taking snacks to some dear little old folks who have nobody else with whom to spend the holidays.

So, you have your challenge.

With true love and brotherhood, each other now embrace.

Ready. Go!

A Few Words in Memorium

I lost a dear friend this month and can only just now bring myself to write about it. I've lost many friends and relatives to cancer. Each cancer story is different. Each cancer journey is one of courage and pain, suffering and relief, victory and defeat. But this one -- well, this friend was everything I hope one day to become .. minus the cancer, of course. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

Well, almost nobody.

Okay, child molesters probably deserve cancer.

People who abuse the elderly.

Rapists.

Murderers.

People who kick dogs.

Wait.

No.

Nobody. Nobody deserves cancer.

Ouch. That's hard to say. But if I've learned nothing else from my friend, she taught me that I should show kindness and compassion and mercy to all people, not just the ones I like. Anyone can love a friend. But an enemy? That's much more difficult.

Even as she lay dying in her bed, my friend greeted visitors with broad smiles and kind words. I never heard her complain. Her organs were shutting down and she couldn't stand without fainting. Still she insisted on knowing what she could do for others.

She was a truly a -- you know what? A word hasn't been invented yet that describes what she was. Miracle maybe. She was love, mercy, forgiveness, gentility, grace, tireless servant to her fellow man, teacher, wife, and friend to all with the singing voice of an angel. Not an unkind or selfish bone in her body.

I know I'll never be like her.

I'd still give cancer to child molesters.

A Different Take on Battle Speeches

Sure do admire the respect for a battle speech! This kid's Dad is catching crap about his boy's viewing habits, though. Personally, I think if a kid doesn't climb trees or throw a ball, a heartstring never-say-die film is better than sitting in front of an X-Box all day. This kid may not quit a thing for the rest of his life. Or, he may turn into a tv watching couch potato. Who knows.

For me, this isn't one of the greater battle speeches. It's a little cliche. But the purity on that kid's face as he delivers the line "screw 'em!" has a shock value that Kurt Russell's speech doesn't.

In case you don't recognize it, this battle speech is from Miracle, underdog film about the U.S. hockey team in the 1980 Winter Olympics in Lake Placid.

A Tale of Two Heroes

While I frequently point out that I'm a fan few, I must confess to great admiration for Jamie Foxx. Although I loved him in Ray and could hardly take my eyes off of him in Dreamgirls, it was The Soloist that catapulted the star born Eric Marlon Bishop onto my win column and put him on my short list.

Still, the billboards, statue, motorcade and hoopla at Terrell's Tiger Stadium today, Jamie Foxx Day, leaves me a little cold. Texas Governor Rick Perry, Senator Bob Deuell, State Representative Betty Brown and the heads of both the Texas and Dallas film commissions are all there to mark the re-naming of Eric Marlon Bishop's hometown street as Jamie Foxx Way.

I like the Jamie Foxx way. I adore his devotion to the grandmother who raised him. I love his shameless acknowledgement of the role his home town played in his life and I'm oddly thankful for his credo, "My goals, my dreams, my values". It's proud but not prideful, secure but not self-important. It doesn't say "my way or the highway". It says "Don't let anyone or anything run your life. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't. Don't let anyone shame your dreams. And don't ever EVER think that you don't have value because of who you are or where you came from." That's what his credo says to me. Yes, I do like the Jame Foxx way.

But, he's one man and his story is still being written. Who knows what kind of man he'll be tomorrow. Will we point at him when he's 90 and say "he made us proud"? I hope so. But, time will tell.

Down the highway from all this Jamie Foxx fanaticism in Terrell, Texas, a precious child named Laurren Smith is grand marshall for a homecoming parade in Forney, Texas. She's scarcely able to sit up or even breath as tumors suffocate her windpipe and attack her heart. Two short years ago, she was an active cheerleader on the 4th-5th grade squad my sister coached. The shock to Laurren's friends and family was surreal when the truth about her leg pain was diagnosed. She didn't just land wrong in cheerleading practice. She had a very rare form of cancer.

Our small town has rallied around her and one news station has chronicled Laurren's brave battle, infectious joy of life, and fearless matter-of-fact attitude as she's gone to California and Mexico for new and experimental treatments. There have been welcome home parties, carnivals, and fund raisers and now, Forney, Texas, will hold Christmas in October because Laurren won't live past December.

But five thousand people didn't line the streets for Laurren and the governor didn't stop by for a photo op. Laurren hasn't gotten the national or even local attention of a Jamie Foxx hometown celebration because there are so many heartbreaking Laurren Smith stories out there all over the state, the country, and the world that it's inevitable for one little girl's story to fade into the fabric of human suffering.

Two parades today. Eight miles apart. Two very different stories. Two very different heroes. Jamie, if you or any of your peeps are reading this, maybe you could stop by and shake Laurren Smith's unshakably courageous hand.

Mercy Me "Pray for Laurren" promo.
KXAS article on Laurren.
KXAS video on Laurren

Changing Themes Mid-Stream

While I'm not sure where the "don't change horses mid-stream" thing actually comes from, I'm relatively sure its source is not screenwriting.

I contend that it's okay to change themes in the middle of the writing process but not during the story telling process. You start with a theme and figure out you want to go somewhere else. So, you go back to the beginning and rework the story. Your theme is there from the beginning of your story to the end. If you introduce a secondary theme mid-story, it too has been set up from the beginning. So it's not really a CHANGE.

Stories, as we all know, are transitionary during the writing process.. wait. If we all know it, why do I feel compelled to mention it? I dislike stating what goes without saying almost as much as I dislike the contradictory nature of phrase "it goes without saying" since that which goes without saying is usually pointed out the moment we decide that it does, indeed, NOT need to be said.

And why do we even say "it does, indeed"? Isn't that redundant? Because if it does, it is already a fact. Said fact's existence is established. Indeed.

Moving on.

Stories, regardless of how well thought out they are, morph and blossom and wither and regenerate somewhere between inception and outline, again between outline and first draft, and then back and forth and, quite possibly, all over the place through subsequent drafts. We start out with a purpose - here's what I want to say and how I want to say it - but somewhere in the writing process we decide to amend that purpose.

Now let me ask you this... Okay, wait. There I go again. Stating what goes without saying because if I ask a question, is there really any need to inform a reader that I'm about to ask a question when they'll figure it out as soon as the question is asked?

Where was I?

Right. Theme.

Okay, so suppose your theme starts out as a Bruce Banner and somewhere mid-story it becomes the Incredible Hulk. Anger triggers Banner's change. What triggered your theme change? Something in the story caused such an overwhelming conflict in the theme that it became something else. Maybe now, it's grander than you intended. Maybe it's more thoughtful and subtle. Either way, the theme is now a powerful force to be reckoned with.

Are you really going to try to force the Bruce Banner-ish theme, mild but oh so endearing, to take on the role of the Incredible Hulk? Banner isn't Hulk. Only Hulk is Hulk. So which is it? A Banner theme or a Hulk theme. Your theme must be dealt with either way.

Anyone following my tangled thought process at all? It really was a well thought-out argument about changing themes until I sat at the keyboard and discovered how many empty things in the English language we say like "it goes with out saying" and "let me ask you this" and "I couldn't care less". That one really bugs me.. "I couldn't care less" indicates that you don't care at all which, if true, would not merit the mention of that which you don't care about.

Okay, so Bruce Banner isn't Hulk. I had a Banner theme. Now, it's a Hulk theme. What to do. Do I let my theme evolve as the story does or do I let the story evolve around one theme or the other? Why can't Banner and Hulk co-exist as themes in my story? Maybe they can but not as a single theme. If my theme mutates mid-story, aren't I writing two stories? Should I just use whichever theme fits, right? Any ol' port in the storm?

Just as this post is a strobe-light of helter skelter flashes of lucidity and stupidity and you, the reader, have had to pause to understand anything it says, I am suggesting that if we don't know the theme to our own stories, we don't really know what it says. If we don't know what our own screenplay says, how can we say it?

I started out this post writing about changing themes but then I realized how much I really want to write about all the meaningless phrases we use in speech and on paper. I should probably just pick one point or the other and go back and edit this post so the reader can follow it. But then, neither point would be made.

You can't retro-fit a theme.

Oh yeah. Plenty of writers have told me you can just start writing a story and figure out the theme later as it reveals itself to you. But I contend that is not possible. Here's why. Only these things can happen with theme during the writing process.

1. You start out with a theme from the beginning and stick with it
2. You start out writing one theme but the story evolves so you change the theme and go back to #1
3. You start out with a theme and realize you need a secondary theme so you go back to #1 with both themes.
4. You start out with no theme and figure it out along the way and then go back to #1

So, as you can see, it all goes back to number one. So there is actually no need for me to write numbers 2, 3, and 4 because they don't really exist. And there is actually no need to ever write "is actually" because if something "is", it is real and already "actual".

You know why you can't change horses mid-stream? Because you gotta take the horse you're on back to the bank to get the horse you're changing to. You started over at the beginning of the stream with a new horse. You didn't really change horses mid-stream at all. Of course, you could take a second horse along with you and get off one horse mid-stream and then mount the other one. But again, you didn't CHANGE horses mid-stream. You had both horses all along.

It goes without saying.

I'm still a Nazi Parent

I posted this a few years ago and was promptly bombarded with a mixed bag of mail. Many readers said that I'm naive. One said that I'm manipulative and controlling and will rue the day my sons break free of their 1950's upbringing and rebel in ways that will shock me. One reader even called me a Nazi parent. And, many warned me of a "rude awakening". So, three and a half years later, lets revisit this.

My sons are now 25, 20, and 15. Never been in jail. No drugs. No alcohol abuse. No totalled cars. We eat lunch as a family on Sunday afternoons where I catch up on the latest work, bowling, or girlfriend adventures and hear about the newest album from the latest band whose name I'll never remember. They make sure I know when to be there when the youngest one runs, the middle one plays soccer, and the oldest one wrestles.

Sure, there is a great divide in approaches to parenthood and yes, there are and always will be disappointments, arguments, and challenges. But rude awakening? I'm not sleepwalking.

Screenplay, Thy Name is Satire

My son's English teacher is making the class take a literary terms exam over and over until everyone in the room passes it. My kid passed. No matter. He still has to take the test again.

Unfair, says he.

Learning process, says I.

Sucks, says he.

That's life, says I.

Going to play Wii, says he.

After you study, says I.

Only missed two questions, says he.

Which ones, says I.

Satire and exposition, says he.

Define satire, says I.

A ridiculous word on a stupid test that a monkey could pass, says he.

Well done, says I. Go play Wii.

Point? I should learn more about writing satire. I should read more satiric screenplays.

Title suggestions?

Laborious Basterds

While I did see most of Inglorious Basterds, I actually dozed off during one of the multiple gab marathons. It exhausted me.

The German dialogue with English subtitles didn't bother me, Brad Pitt had some amusing stuff going on (and I even found myself wanting to see more of him), and the action sequences were there. But it's a Tarantno film. I expect overkill, not so much droning.

It was weird. I don't know if I like the film or not. Gonna have to see it again, methinks.