The calendar says four years ago today was my last post on this blog. Four years since I've posted here! I haven't stopped writing. Nor do I think there is nothing left for me to learn. Quite the contrary. I write, take photographs, work in local theater productions and have done some costuming. But mostly, I stay close to home and I wait. I wait for the end of a game of chicken I have been playing with my mother's Alzheimer's for the last few years, knowing full well how the game will end.
Writing about my experiences with my mother's journey through dementia has been somewhat cathartic but I've shared very little. I have posted a few things at Memoirs of Madness but more often than not, once I finish a piece, I just save it and walk away. I know. I know. I need to just suck it up and post everything.
My brother and I recently discussed why it is so difficult to share these stories and I think it is because as much as I want to help other people prepare for what's ahead, I still feel somehow that I'm being disloyal or not protecting my mother's dignity if I talk too much about just how bizarre, painful, and unpredictable this whole Alzheimer's nightmare has been.
Before long, I'll realize that sharing my mother's stories is the best way to honor her and that her experiences will better prepare other people for our ugly footprints, thus improving their lives in some small measure. And, in this way, she will live on once the Alzheimer's wins. And, it will win.
Meanwhile, this screenwriting blog has some good stuff on it gleaned from some very learned screenwriting mentors, friends, and strangers, even though all things written here are from times long past.