Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Annual Bingo Rant

To me, "bingo" is the single most irritating cop-out piece of dialogue used in film. Ever. I gripe about "bingo" at least once a year and every year, hope springs eternal and I am confident that THIS is the year the whole filmmaking universe will come over to my side and "bingo" will sit quietly on a shelf somewhere (bound and gagged) waiting for a scene in a VFW with a herd of people stamping cards and eyeing the prize table of Slap Chops and Chia pets.

Doesn't happen.

Most recently, Avatar and Sherlock Holmes jerked me out of the film and slapped me around with "bingo". There I was, absorbed in the film when BAM! It's like somebody just kicked my chair or threw a crying baby in my lap.

I realize that actors frequently ad-lib, directors throw things in that writers didn't sanction, and that writers are often under the gun and scrambling with an edit so yeah, "bingo" will happen now and then. But fifteen or twenty times a year? I'm not talking Lifetime movies and re-runs of Reba either. These are big money new releases!

I find it amusing that I have some "favorite" writers whose films never seem to use the word "bingo". That tells me we have the power! We have the technology!

Maybe I'll spend the new year pleading for releases to compile a short film of nothing but clips of characters saying "bingo". I could even use voice alteration software to raise and lower the pitches so that the whole film is to the tune of "There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-o. B.I.N.G.O....."

Yeah. That would get my point across.

Except, I don't think it would be a very short film.


E.C. Henry said...

Maryan, you have a very short fuse. What are you German or something?!

"Avatar" was AWESOME. Best movie of the year with "Nine" coming in a close second. And Sherlock Holmes had 2 hours of Robert Downey Jr. at his fast-talking best. You had to like looking at his cute mug for 2 hours? If not check your sexuality, you may have turned.

Hope you had a great Christmas. Did you score anything cool? (Hopefully you had beter than a "quid pro quo" Christmas like you posted about last month) I got a Keurig one cup coffee brewer this year. Writer's best friend; LOVE the one cup brewer!

- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA

MaryAn Batchellor said...

I've heard those coffee things are great. Enjoy! I'd probably love one if I liked coffee at all.

As for my Christmas, the only things I want that I don't already have are (1) a Nicholl and (2) an end to world suffering.

Since I gotta do the Nicholl myself, I asked my friends and family to take a few cans to the food bank as my Christmas gift.

Nothing beats Thanksgiving though when the men in my house all went to the senior citizen apartments and strung Christmas lights for them.

Hokey as it sounds, all I wanted .. well, let me quote a Raffi song "all I really need is a song in my heart, food in my belly, and love in my family".


Perhaps you would like my film Bingo Confidential - it's dialogue appropriate! Bingo Confidential dot com