Writing from Angst

Some of the most disturbed minds have achieved immortality through the written word. How do they get so disburbed?

I know one way -- We live in a world where we're forced to put our faith in people and people who put their faith in other people are setting themselves up for disappointment.

It's a sick rule. We must trust people. They will disappoint us.

This is true of all relationships - work, family, neighbors, church, politics, school - yet the ant colony structure of society demands that we trust somebody with our money, our health decisions, and even the care of our children.

Deny it though we may, we cannot go through a single day of our lives without putting our faith in somebody for something - even strangers. No wonder we're whacked. Who can remain sane when -

• We trust that the guy in the car next to us will stay in his lane?
• We trust that the chef didn't spit in our meal?
• We trust that the payroll lady will cut our checks on time?

Hmm? Who? It's maddening.

We may not even realize a bond exists until it is broken. Somebody swerves into our lane or we find a foreign object in our food or our paycheck is late and suddenly, the bond is broken. We feel cheated. It's not fair. That person had an obligation and didn't fulfil it.

But what happens when we KNOWINGLY and PURPOSELY put our faith in another person or system of some kind and they fail us?

Ouch.

In my profession, several odd things have taken place this month and most of us are doing the best we can to maintain the public trust. That's a very good thing. We owe the public that. The problem is that, in the process, something was overlooked. Me. The obvious and normal route that most every other city in the State of Texas would have taken under this circumstance isn't being taken. It's weird. Not illegal. But weird. In this instance, that path was me.

The people who should speak up, aren't. Speaking up on my own behalf is unethical and remaining silent hurts like hell. Such is the way these situations work now and then.

It's not personal. It's just politics.

We exist in a twisted society where the lazy are frequently rewarded and the self absorbed are exalted while the driven and sincere are often overlooked. Why? Because decent, hard working people are too busy taking care of their responsibilities to advertise and role play.

It's no wonder so many masterpieces are written in frustration.

I'm disturbed. Give me a pen.