Prepare yourself, people. The tips of my fingers may burn right off as I type these words -- I just wasn't that inspired by At World's End.
Among many flickers of brilliance are Jack Sparrow's preoccupation with size and a cameo by his mum. But for all Jack's prancing and Barbossa's nostril flaring, the film lacks the charm and tempo and adrenaline that I've come to expect.
The cinematography can't compare to the artistic mastery of the second film and many portions actually feel like rough cuts. I'm guessing that editors fell victim to a cruel and merciless taskmaster - the release date.
The story complexities and character nuances that compelled me to watch the first two Pirates of the Caribbean films over and over seem to be missing from this one and with all the side changing and betrayal going on, I frequently felt like I was watching a Homer's Odyssey version of Deal or No Deal.
I was predisposed to love At World's End but basically, my heart didn't flutter. I think I even heard it snore a time or two and for such disloyalty to my favorite writers, I should cut the treacherous thing out and lock it into a chest.
But I was warned. The foreshadowing was there.
Early in the film, we actually cross through hell frozen over.
Maybe I'd better watch the movie again just to be sure . . .