Somebody asked me yesterday what my status as a screenwriter was. That is one of the strangest things I've ever been asked. My status? As if I'm an online auction or a bank statement downloading? Geez. But, I know what he meant so here's my status.
I'm a good writer. Am I a great one? That depends on whether we are talking about screenplays or press statements. Independent producers have ooooh'd and awwwww'd and showered me in drool. But, none of them option my work. Hmm. Guess I'm one of those gals with a "great personality".
I've dinked at the Austin Film Festival and in the Nicholl. I didn't even get a second round or next 100 or top ten percent. Does that mean I can't write? No. It means, so far, I can't win. But, it could mean I can't write.
I am in the process of writing what I think is a great screenplay. Who isn't?
Once this screenplay is done, I'll be doing some serious soul searching and self evaluation. How much more time am I willing to devote to a craft that I have only a minute sliver of a chance of succeeding at?
Sometimes, it feels like I'm on the Midway at the fair, throwing away dollar bills trying to win a stuffed animal in a game I know is rigged. If that's the case, why do I keep seeing little kids walking around with giant Yogi Bears? Because their Daddy won it for them? Because they outsmarted the barker? Because they are that talented? Well, I don't have a Daddy at this fair and I don't know enough about the barkers to outsmart one so all that's left for me is the talent. I'd better have some or go play a different game.