Three Day Migraine

I don't promote products of any kind because somebody could have an allergic reaction and sue me. So, I'm not telling you to buy this product. Nope. And, don't try to sue me because I have three sons so even the pennies in my sugar bowl are missing. Nor am I telling you not to buy any particular product because I don't want any manufacturer hunting me down like a homeopathic and/or pharmaceutical product bashing dog. So there. Let's see.... is that all the caveats, admonitions, warnings and information before I continue? Oh! One more thing. I am not a doctor, nor have I ever played one on TV.

All right. Here we go. I get migraines. It's probably because I spend so much time in front of a computer screen so writers, take note. I have had a migraine for three days. Three straight head-pounding, somebody-please-close-the-blinds-and-nobody-make-a-sound days. Yes. Three can't-drive-a-car-cuz-I-can't-read-the-street-signs-because-of-the-flashing-things-in-my-eyes days. You get the picture?

I used to take prescription migraine medication. It worked like a charm. But once the medicine wore off, the headache came back determined to punish me for trying to vanquish it. You could almost hear the headache say "you dare try to thwart me with your dastardly elixar? There is no concoction, antidote, drug, panacea, placebo or remedy of any kind that can foil my awesome and terrifying power! Wah! Ha! Ha!"

.. okay, maybe you couldn't almost hear it, but it was loud and clear to me. Doctors called these voices "rebound headaches" and we all know anyone on the rebound is bad news.

Where was I? Oh, okay. So, a year or so ago I stopped taking the prescription drugs and have treated my periodic migraines with over the counter Excedrin Migraine. (reminder to read disclaimers in first paragraph. DO IT NOW!). Well, this week, the Excedrin met Mister Awesome-and-Terrifying-Power and cowered in the dark recesses of my stomach like a whipped puppy. Frankly, I was in a head pounding, light oppressive, vomiting in the dirty toilet(oh gross, do men just sit on the pot and explode?) hell. Yes, this migraine was hell.

Somebody told me about this headache stuff that you roll on your head the way you roll antiperspirant in your armpits. Uh. Huh. I was skeptical but desperate. So, I got my son to play seeing-eye-dog and lead me through the Walmart Pharmacy where he found it. I couldn't read the labels because of all the orange and yellow lightening in that store which I am sure is against some kind of building code.

Within a few minutes it dulled the head pain and the flashing things in my eyes were gone. With the flashing things gone, the nausea went too. This product worked for me.. moi...yo...it may not work for you.

If you try this product, which I am not recommending for aforementioned reasons, there is one important warning you need to know that they neglected to put on the box. When you use this product, to the average consumer in the Walmart parking lot, you will look like a befuddled moron rubbing Chapstick on your forehead.