With Apologies to The Bangles

(sing to tune of Walk Like an Egyptian)

All the old screenplays in my room,
They gather dust, reek of gloom and doom,
Each a rotting corpse (oh whey oh)
Write something new, leave those in their tomb.

Macchiato flows by the mile
The waitress stops, speaks but doesn't smile
Gathers up my trash (oh whey oh)
"You leaving soon? Hate your writing style."

Writer types overlook her gripes, say
"Go away-oh, my cafe'-oh
and I like to write fiction."

Clacking on my keys through the day
The waitress comes, says it's time to pay
Showed her my receipts (oh whey oh)
She said "too bad, please leave anyway."

Underneath the chair, dropped a note
Next thing I know, knife against my throat
Forgot to take her meds (oh whey oh)
She went to jail, I proofed what I wrote.

All the cops in the coffee shop say
"Take her away-oh, don't delay-oh,
She's got an affliction."

Quid Pro Quo Christmas

It's no secret in my circle of friends that I loathe the chaos of Christmas. It is such a selfish season of excess that I find it repugnant. Buy for me and I'll buy for you. Mail me a card and I'll mail you one. Ugh. It's quid pro quo at its worst.

I truly do believe Christmas is the time of giving. I just don't believe it's all about stuff!

Here's my challenge to you. Kick the quid pro quo habit. Don't just think about it. Do it.

Adopt a kid from an angel tree or take a few cases of veggies to the nearest food bank. Clean out your closet and call a charity truck or donate toys to the children's hospital. Buy a few new movies for the women's shelter or just write a check to a cause near and dear to your heart --or in the true spirit of kicking the quid pro quo Christmas habit, send a check to a cause you've never supported but know is worthy.

As for my family, we do several things but especially looking forward to Thanksgiving when we are decorating at a senior apartment complex and taking snacks to some dear little old folks who have nobody else with whom to spend the holidays.

So, you have your challenge.

With true love and brotherhood, each other now embrace.

Ready. Go!